This is a true story of Honour Based Abuse from a member of the Pakistani Community living in South Yorkshire.  It could happen to anyone both male and female, in any Asian community.

If you watch this animation and can identify to the circumstances, please seek help and support.

Karma Nirvana National Helpline – 0800 5999 247

Ashiana  – 0114 255 5740

You can read the full story shown in the animation below. To change the language of the text, please use the plug-in at the bottom of the page.

Subtitles can be added to this animation by clicking on the settings icon at the bottom of the YouTube frame and select the subtitles and auto translate option to choose your language.

A was born in the UK and raised by her Pakistani parents. They were very traditional and controlled a lot of A’s life.

She was unable to come home from work without supervision from her father and uncle, she was unable to be independent and wasn’t allowed to mix with other people.

“Honour is extremely important to my family and community.”

Her family believed she had been around boys. They would check her bank statements to see where she had been and her father would verbally and physically abuse her if she tried to leave the house. One day, A’s parents took her passport and told her she would be flying to Pakistan in two weeks to marry a cousin she didn’t know.

“To them, it’s an arranged marriage. To me, it was forced. I felt pressured,  I did not consent and nobody was listening to me. So I tried to take my own life.”

Once A was in hospital, they got in touch with the police. She refused to cooperate with them because she felt reporting parents to the police was seen shameful in the community.

“I worried they would make things worse for me.”

In the interests of her health, safety and well-being, police obtained a forced marriage protection order without her consent.

“I realised the police had in fact saved me from more self-harm and suicide. This could have been a life of rape and control.”

The Police safely removed A from her parents’ house and got her passport back. She then moved to her student accommodation in Sheffield where she would soon begin studying.

With no family support, A was struggling financially and IDAS received a High-Risk Referral from South Yorkshire Police. She didn’t have any food and was quickly losing weight. A was initially very shy and withdrawn, but time was taken to ensure she felt more comfortable and she eventually opened up.

Her IDAS support worker arranged food parcels for her, helped source funding for her student accommodation and helped her find a job so she could support herself.

“My uncle disowned me because of his shame. But my mother changed. We now have a good relationship, I live independently, have a full time job and I’m in a relationship I choose to be in. I didn’t want it at the time, I felt too scared and ashamed. But now I’m so grateful for the support I received from IDAS and the police. I never needed to feel ashamed, the shame was never mine.”